How to Practice Kindness Towards Yourself
Let’s be honest…
We aren’t always nice to ourselves.
In general, we find it much easier to have compassion for a close friend or family member than we do for ourselves. If they’re struggling with self-doubt, upset about their body, or just generally feeling sub-par, we’re the first to tell them it’s going to reassure them that it’s going to be okay.
But when it comes to ourselves? When we’re struggling with body image, second-guessing ourselves, or feeling anxious and overwhelmed, we usually jump to thinking something is inherently wrong with us. Too often, we fight against ourselves by trying to fix or change something about ourselves or a situation beyond our control, hoping that will make us feel happier. In reality, when we can be present with where we are at any given moment we become more resilient when challenges inevitably come our way.
But with the right tools and practices, you develop appreciation, acceptance and compassion for all parts of who you are – your body, mind and spirit. This means that you’re not fighting against yourself all the time. You and your whole self are in this life together.
I like to think of practicing kindness towards myself as if I was trying to befriend myself. Here are a few ways that have helped me befriend my body, befriend my breath, and befriend my mind:
Befriend Your Body
Befriending your body can be tough. In our society, we're basically taught not to. But let's try something on for size here...
Imagine for a moment that your body is a good friend. A real pal. Someone who protects you, who takes care of you, who wants the best for you. You and your friend change and grow and shift and adapt to whatever life throws at you. Your body might disappoint you from time to time (I know mine has), but at the end of the day, you couldn't be human without it. You're in this life together. Your relationship is a two-way street.
One way to befriend your body is with mindful movement practices that invite you to move in ways that support you. For me, this is one of the main reasons why I practice yoga.
Befriend Your Breath
How well do you know your most precious resource, your greatest ally? Your breath is the bridge to your spirit and getting to know my breath and learning how to work with it has been one of the most powerful tools for mindful and intentional living.
When you befriend your breath, you can be reminded of your innate power. When you befriend your breath, you experience your limitless potential. When you befriend my breath, you come to know that peace is always within.
Befriend Your Mind
Tens of thousands of thoughts pass through your mind on any given day. How many of those thoughts are helpful? How many might be taking you further and further away from
Your thoughts create your feelings, which greatly influence how you act or react in the world.
When you befriend your mind, you accept that thoughts and feelings come and go. You embrace your own ability to notice your thought patterns and reclaim those that help you develop gratitude, creativity, generosity, forgiveness and compassion. The more we can focus the mind in meditation, the more adaptive and responsive we can be to life's ever-changing circumstances.
Meditation can be a really helpful tool for being with your thoughts.
What parts of yourself can you practice some kindness towards today? Use these as often as you can – not just when you’re feeling down or disappointed.
If you want to begin to befriend your body, breath and mind, check out my Befriend Your Self yoga, meditation and breath work video series! This series includes more than three hours of guided instruction across nine video-based classes.